Seeking an opportunity to expand my horizons by sharpening my skills on the job and with higher education. A position where my loyalty and strong work ethics can take shape in being a significant asset for business relations. I would like to work for an entity that will allow me to grow and learn with the organization.
What did you really learn about a candidate from those statements? Did you learn where their background lies? What type of manager they are? What they really want to do in their next position? How successful they were in their last position? What advanced education or training they have achieved?
You learned none of that; and like most people who look at resumes, you would probably have preferred to skip over that entire paragraph. Objectives have become so generic and uninformative that I think they are just taking up valuable space at the top page of your resume. The very document that makes the first impression on a potential hiring manager is usually being skipped over.
What else might be more helpful? I do like a Professional Summary. A simple 3-4 sentences that describe who you are will work wonderfully. Let them know you are a lending professional with 15 years of lending experience in the credit union industry and that will catch their attention and make them want to keep reading.
A nice follow-up to a Professional Summary would be a short list of your major accomplishments from your career. A Hiring Manager would certainly like to learn about your experience in turning around an underperforming credit union or saving the credit union thousands of dollars by finding an accounting mistake or creating a new avenue of income for the credit union.
Also, If you have worked hard to complete advanced degrees or designations (MBA, CPA, SCMS, CUDE, etc.), you will want to include and highlight your educational accomplishments.
There are certainly more effective ways to use that space in introducing yourself so make sure you grab their attention.
If you are a candidate looking for a career in the credit union industry or a credit union looking for staffing help, please contact Credit Union Employment Resources (www.curesources.coop/cuer.html) and we can certainly help you out. You can contact me directly at email@example.com.